January 2010
25 posts
OBAMA'S eyebrows look so good right now
i think he watches jersey shore
“Just because I’m so horribly conditioned to accept everybody else’s...”
– J.D. Salinger
“I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing...”
– J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
“Had I been on Pandora instead of Jake Sully, I would have done things...”
– Dwight Shrute talking about Avatar
It would've been done earlier if you didn't have...
Especially since half of this speech has been one giant bitch slap to Congress for being so terrible.
IVE GOT THE ITIS
SNOOZIN
I finally got myself a new iPhone. And the AT&T guy said I smelled like lake, and that he likes the lake. I wasn’t even at the lake. Uhh okay…
Down at the shore, one minute you'll have three...
-the situation
TALL, SLENDER REDHEAD AVAILABLE FOR NIGHTTIME... →
- Tall, slender redhead available for nighttime recreation. - 6’4”, completely ripped, VERY Caucasian. - Drapes match the carpet. - Currently homeless, must meet at your place. - Can go a whole hour (with scheduled breaks every 7-10 minutes). - Fatties welcome. - Not afraid to take two people at once, and then a musical guest. - NOTE: If you want me to perform after midnight,...
pants on the ground, pants on the ground, you...
Cities using vodka to get rid of ice →
